Because my brain won't stop whirring, and I'm annoying my spouse.
The SPD cleats were cinched to my shoes with due care,
In hopes that clippin' in won't be a painful affair.
The tread on my tires have been checked again and again,
And I pray that I don't get a flat a mere 3 miles in!
My wetsuit hangs dry with the zipper intact.
And let us just hope that I don't get a panic attack.
I've been swimming like crazy! You'd think I was mad,
But after seeing my freestyle, you'll know that it's bad.
Backstroke is Best Stroke for people like me,
Though I'll be off course by a degree or three.
I've powdered my bike shorts and hope they'll be able to fit,
So my poor, callused behind will have a nice place to sit.
My gears still confound me because I can't get the hang
Of downshiftin' in time before shit hits the fan.
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Running has always been my strongest event,
But after swimming and cycling, I know I'll be spent.
I worry I'll finish dead last in the race,
And those pro-triathletes will just laugh in my face.
I'll wait at the shore behind most of the pack,
Eyeing the buoys that will keep me on track.
My swim cap will squeeze and push at my ears
And be a reminder of lake monster fears.
As I climb on my bike, I sure hope I don't fall.
God knows I'd love to give a taxi a call.
Maybe I'll fly through the course passing folks left and right!
Or I'll get lost on the streets well past the night.
I've ran a few marathons, but a 5K is new.
Those 3 miles will suck - I'll just have to push through!
At this point in the race, I'll try to make up some time
Since my swimming is still not quite at its prime.
Transitions are where the minutes will quickly increase.
And they're really annoying when you're still not at ease.
My gear should hold up! Let's just hope it stays true,
So I may complete each phase and transition times two.
I wonder what pressed me to try out a tri,
Because sometimes I'd rather just stab my own thigh
Than wake up at three and compete with the best.
At this point in the game, I'm ready to give tri-training a rest.
Though the months flew by fast, the training was rough.
After the tri, I know that I'll tell you that I've had enough
For a lifetime, for sure, so I cannot possibly pay
Another exorbitant price for yet another race day!
But there will be yet another event that I just can't refuse,
Because racing is fun, whether I win or lose.
Triathletes are crazy and downright insane!
And if I had to be honest, I too quite like the pain.
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