I wear Victoria's Secret PINK brand, and normally, I am not ashamed to admit that even though I've been out of school for longer than I like to admit, and I've since upgraded the size of my butt. This goes without saying, but just so we're clear: I am not one of those teenage girls who runs around town with PINK in neon-puke-colored letters emblazoned on her ass.
You need more than a four-letter word to cover the size of that geographic space, OK?
But anyway, I wear it. You can't beat their reasonably priced cotton underwear and lacy thongs - all of which are actually quite comfortable. (Cheapskate side note: Remember when the running deal was 5 pairs of underwear for only TWENTY dollars? What is with this $25.50 business, VS? Just make it a round 30 already...recessions...shiiiit.)
Only recently have I started wearing legitimate pajamas to sleep. Like the flannel-jersey-knit-variety situations that come in various patterns of plaids, pinstripes, and polar bears. Growing up, I just dropped dead when I felt like sleeping. It didn't matter what I was wearing. I don't know how many times I fell asleep with jeans and shoes on still.
It didn't matter if there was still makeup on my face (And there usually wasn't any because I wasn't allowed to wear makeup until I was 18. Sephora has since made a fortune in my attempt to regain those lost years of cosmetic experimentation.)
It didn't matter if I it was 8pm or 3am. When I was sleepy, I slept.
Nowadays? I can't just sleep like that. I have to prepare for sleep. There is a bedtime ritual that I do my best to abide by because if something feels off, I will not sleep well, and you can ask my husband to verify this: I am my absolute worst when I am sleep-deprived.
It's a cranky, terrible ordeal that involves a lot of crying on my end and lot of bewilderment on his part.
I can't have any lights on whatsoever. Bedside lamp? Forget it. Open curtains with moonlight? Blinding. The little red dot on the television screen that lets you know it is turned off? Waaay too bright.
I must brush my teeth, remove all my makeup, wash my face, and tweeze/groom my eyebrows prior to bedtime. This can take up to 30 minutes if I'm feeling particularly indulgent after a long, hard day at work (which seem to be occurring in a higher frequency...more on that later) and it's a very Clinique-oriented process. I'm a big fan of all overnight masks and spot treatments.
There are a couple more things I could mention, but I don't want to be too
Until recently, Victoria's Secret PINK hasn't led me astray into itchy, ghastly pajama lady territory. Bright colors and cute patterns in breathable fabrics? Awesome! If you're not sure what to get me for my birthday (September 22nd....) or Christmas, you can always rely on pajamas in some shade of pink.
For real.
But for the love of soft skin, skip the rhinestones. Who thought that glued-on, plastic crystal thingies would be GREAT on sleepwear? Tyra Banks, was that you? If so, WHAT THE FUCK?
Rhinestones are hideous. I hate them. They are like glitter, but worse. At least with glitter, you don't really know that it's on you because it bears no weight or particular shape. But rhinestones? They are like hard rocks of annoying-ness that pucker your pajamas in odd places and leave you feeling bedazzled in a bad way. They also fall off at the drop of a hat so you're left with glue circles on your pajamas and rhinestones all up in your lint tray.
I didn't know that this last pair of pajama pants that I purchased had rhinestones on them because they were hidden very sneakily in the pant cuffs. I put them on and noticed that something was amiss near my ankles, and lo and behold, I found the rhinestones! This has happened to me before, so I thought I had found the one set of PJ's in the PINK collection that didn't have rhinestones or other plastic decorations glued onto them, but alas, I was foiled.
But for the last time, damnit. I'm severing my relationship with VS PINK as of today. This pushed me over the edge!
//End Tirade
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