You know those women at the grocery store with the two carts full of toothpaste, deodorant, and canned soups? They usually have eyes like hawks as they hunt for special sale items and coupon packets hidden within the aisles. They also frighten other shoppers with the speed at which they grab items off the shelves.
They are sort of kooky, but man, they can stretch that dollar like skin on a lampshade.
I don't know why I wrote that. Gross.
I used to think these women were batshit crazy, and I always figured that they were actually wasting their money. OK, they slashed their grocery bill by 95% but all they have to eat is canned tuna and BBQ sauce for the next 3 years? Yum.
Secretly, though, I've been wondering how they do it. I've watched a few episodes of TLC's Extreme Couponing, and all the people featured on that show definitely confirmed my suspicion that they are abso-freaking-lutely nutzo, but holy shit, they just got all those groceries for free!
FO' FREE!
In the last few months, I've slowly and quietly created my own coupon collection. It has been a very clandestine operation because I don't want people to know that I'm thisclose to becoming an extreme couponer.
It's seriously an addiction.
I now totally understand why you would want to buy 10 tubes of toothpaste at once for 10 cents each. It's not because you want to avoid paying the full price when you will actually need the toothpaste.
It's not because you want to save yourself from a mouthful of cavities and dental bills.
It's because you want to look at the woman behind you in the checkout lane and say without saying, "You paying full price for this shit? Rookie." She will look at you like the dumbfounded shopping novice that she is and realize you are 1) Totally out of your mind, and 2) Still more awesome than her.
IN THE FACE.
Shasta i love all of these, i read them while i am at work. Yes i hate work too and yes i cannot wait to get out to the stupid army. Is that bad to say....maybe or maybe they should have given me a job in the area where i was trained...just a thought. I signed it anonymus because i want to see how many guesses (You get 1) it takes you.
ReplyDelete