When she came onto the scene in 1999, she had catchy songs, great music videos, abs of steel, and really, really nice hair. She became an MTV and red carpet staple, and she was the guilty pleasure we all sung along to on our car radios.
At 29, she has definitely cut back on her super awesome dance moves, and her weave is not as coifed as it could be, but I have always been rooting for Britney and her musical endeavors.
But remember when she married that guy in Vegas for 55 hours and started running around town without any underwear? Yeah, that was kind of weird.
From then on we all started watching in horrified fascination as she continued to go down this deep, dark spiral of nicotine and Cheetos. The incredibly energetic and unusually tan girl I remembered from the 2000 VMA's started to seem like a figment of my imagination.
 |
| The Infamous 2000 VMA's |
However, in JT's defense, I can't blame him because she was most likely the biggest bagful of crazy after spending so many years dancing in her underwear before she could legally drink.
He was probably like, “Could you please bring sexy back and take a shower for once?” and she got all defensive and said something like, “Y’ALL DON’T KNOW I’M NOT A GIRL, NOT YET A WOMAN!” The nerve.
Even when she was married to that gross Kevin Federline with his stupid facial hair and trucker hats, I was still a Britney fan.
Even when she started going to public bathrooms without any shoes and driving her car with her baby in her lap and dropping her other baby on sidewalks and basically stumbling around like a Hot Southern Mess of Baby Daddy Problems, I was still a Britney fan.
Those were some tough years (circa 2004-2008) for me, but I always maintained faith in our girl, and I had high hopes for a comeback.
From what I knew, and I knew everything in explicit detail because I read every US Weekly and Perez Hilton post out there, Britney just needed a little helping hand. And after Mental Breakdown #341, she was finally hospitalized, and they took away sharp objects and bags of Cheetos from her.
Now, this is where things get fuzzy for me in terms of the "Is-This-the-Right-Thing-to-do-for-Her?"-Line because on one hand, it's really sad to be a twenty-something-year-old adult and have your daddy and some manager-type people put you on lockdown and take control of your life.
On the other hand, when you are batshit crazy and shaving your head and throwing umbrellas at cars, you need a timeout in a big way no matter how old you are.
And look at the results! Her 2008 album, Circus? Totally AWESOME! I even tried to get a children's hospital event themed after Circus that is how much I loved it!
(For the record, that theme did not go over well with some parenty-types. Pfft. Britney is child-friendly. She is a mother, people.)
Her hair was growing back slowly but surely, and she even re-gained custody of her kids. Forget the Industrial Revolution, that is what progress is all about.
Little did I know that another album would drop this very year, and behold, Femme Fatale! While it is very In the Zone, it is a great effort on the part of Ms. Spears. If you don't sing along to the "oh oh oh oh oh" part in "Til' the World Ends", then you are positively un-American.
This is the Britney that I remember from times of yore, and this is the Britney I had been waiting for ever since K-Fed got the boot from Dancing with the Stars.
If two successful albums, world tours, and millions upon millions of dollars (all after a very public mental breakdown, mind you) doesn't equal "WINNING", then I don't know what else we can consider for the definition, minus whatever the hell Charlie Sheen has been talking about.
Britney is here to stay.
No comments:
Post a Comment